Hello! It’s been a very long time since I last wrote a post on here and I have to admit I’m really missing this poor, neglected blog. Unfortunately time management at university is something I’m taking a while to adapt to, and the blog has sadly had to suffer as a consequence of this.
Rest assured, however – I am not dead! I have some ideas for posts coming up, which may begin to trickle through when I find time. Also, I’m rather impressed that people are still reading the blog – I’m getting something like 15-25 unique visitors each day! I’d like to thank everyone who’s even just skimmed across an article for taking the time to have a look; I’ll try to produce something of more substance soon.
It’s awful how schooling and exams can completely sap motivation and time from activites we once enjoyed – like blogging, for instance. This is just a reiteration that my blog might be quite quiet until mid February or so (but I’ll try to write the odd thing here and there!).
I used to write fiction a lot, before my first exams two years ago destroyed all time for writing and then, horrifyingly, ideas stopped coming to me. I would write epic, sprawling 30,000+ word stories, and then my imagination just went dry. I know it can come back, because my forays into writing since have shown that the more you write, the more your imagination offers gifts. It’s just a matter of time.
But I suppose qualifications are useful too.
Four Sundays ago, I began this blog. Each following Sunday I’ve woken up and thought, “Sunday already? Where did the week go?” It’s a valid question. As I’ve grown older, the pace of time seems to have sped up. I’m not the first by any means to have noticed this, but it’s terrifying nonetheless. I remember childhood as this almost eternal state of existence where nothing changed, where a year felt like a year.
A year ago today occurred what you could call our school’s Christmas ‘prom’, which was a rather fascinating experience for me. Which, unnervingly, did not feel like a year ago. My life hasn’t changed enough for a year to have passed! And yet, as soon as I write that, I can see my life has changed in so many ways.
Perhaps part of it is also down to my current chaotic, semi-homeless lifestyle (more on that soon, again!). This increase in pace of time has been particularly more rapid in the last few months. Events of a month ago literally feel as if they were only last week. It’s like I don’t know where my life is going; time is slipping through my fingers. I’m not sure what could be done to slow it down, to give time some actual meaning once more. Perhaps slowing time down wouldn’t be desirable.
But not all time is racing ahead. Some memories do feel in their proper place, such as exam results; it feels as if there was never a time I did not know of these. Friendships seem to blend well in time – thinking back to before I made certain friends definitely feels like a very long time ago. So perhaps, rather than my experience of time changing, it’s a phenomena of memory. If so, I can’t decide whether this means my memory is improving or weakening.
To-morrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time.