Breaking news! In the womb of one of the 3.5 billion women in the world a foetus is growing, like over 100 million others have this year. Due to a genetic quirk going back centuries to the creation of an outdated system, this poor baby will spend its entire life in the media spotlight, while 29,000 children under 5 which die a day are ignored.
I have summarised the news that Kate Middleton, ‘Duchess of Cambridge’, is pregnant. I’m happy for her; she and William appear to be a lovely couple. But I don’t particularly want to be bombarded with facts about the foreign lives of a couple I’ve never met and never will, who’ve entered public recognition solely through birth and marriage.
This baby, hardly developed past being a bundle of cells, is more than likely to become the United Kingdom’s Head of State one day. Even if he’s unfit to rule, or the public hates her, of he has extreme political beliefs, or even if she doesn’t want to. Because of meaningless words like ‘culture’ and ‘heritage’ we must have a pre-ordained Head of State while over the channel France has recently elected theirs to truly represent the people. Monarchists argue that the HoS has no real powers, so to that I reply, why have one?
I pity the child. S/he will never have the opportunity to lead a normal life with normal opportunities. The poverty of aristocracy will prevent him/her from becoming a joiner, or a politician, or a clerk who desires nothing more than to settle down and found a family in peace. They shall be hounded by the press from the moment they’re born until the moment they die. I wouldn’t trade places with him/her for anything. Certainly not for that pointless, ceremonial position.
Oh what warped institutions the human race creates.